...the truth is...

I feel terrible!

My last post, I "bragged" about how wonderful I felt.  I think I did feel great....but, I am beginning to think I may have even been lying to myself!

I'm not so sure what changed but, something did and my "I feel so great" attitude has changed.

The truth is that I have had a bit of a cough and congestion for 3 weeks....people at work ask if I am okay and, like clockwork, I say that I am fine.

Really, I am not fine.

I am exhausted.  My throat hurts.  I am coughing up nasty, green snot.  I cough and the boys ask if I need to go to the "hos-spit-al"....because Owen thinks that everyone needs to go to the hospital since he had the "bug" in his belly.  I tell him no, but to stay away because I have a bug.  His eyes get wide and he stays away...until he wants me to pick him up.

Of course, my pity story gets better when I say that Chad has been gone 4 nights over the past 10 days....pity, pity, pity.

I called my friend, who is a mid-wife, to tell her what was going on and ask if I should call the doctor's office to be seen the next day.  I told her I was exhausted...flat out exhausted....and sort of dizzy....like, to the point that I just wanted to get back in bed when I had done nothing other than take a shower....I even admitted, gasp, that I had sat down at work and put my feet up...at 20 weeks pregnant...when I would normally be running crazy.

Here is what she said.....most importantly, nothing I was saying seemed to concern her.  Her 3 basic points....1) Remember, I am 20 weeks pregnant.  2) This is my 3rd pregnancy and it is no walk in the park.  3)  Don't forget, you are older.

OLDER????  What is this?

A week ago, I quickly responded to everyone that I was fine...sometimes I was forgetting I was even pregnant.  Truth.

Truth is that I am so busy taking care of these 2 boys, working part-time, making a poor effort at keeping our house clean and shuffling dust, cooking dinner or deciding which restaurant I think I can muster up the energy to eat at on a given night, leading Bible study and trying to get the boys to various activities...truth is, I have been so busy doing all of these things that I did forget that I am indeed 20 weeks pregnant, with my 3rd pregnancy and yes, I am older....so I need to sit down, take a break and take care of myself and this baby!

My cough is pretty nasty....and the weekend, minus the hubby has been pretty rough because on top of being wiped out just from being pregnant this cough/cold/snot filled mess has wiped me out.  The boys need my full attention and all I want to do is lay on the couch.  Lucky me, I got about 20 minutes of silence today while the boys watched TV and I laid on the couch.  Just to buy some "down time" I drove the boys, trapped in the car seats, all the way downtown, drove around the battery, drove by "mommy's work" drove back over the bridge, stopped for ice cream (and got some for mommy too!), drove all the way down to Sullivan's, across to IOP and then headed home.....if gas wasn't so expensive, I may have driven all the way to Myrtle Beach just to be able to sit!

It was actually a fun outing....we just didn't get out of the car....we saw lots of boats, horses and even cannons!

If my cough doesn't get better by Monday, I may find myself at the doctor anyway....momma's gotta get some sleep and this cough keeps me up at night.

Yet....even as I have my own complaints, I am reminded that many, many, many families across America, and the world, have much larger concerns....I am 20 weeks pregnant and feel exactly as I should at this point....many other people have lost loved ones, loved one have lost limbs and will be adjusting to life in a whole new manner.  I pray for each of these people...each of these families....in Boston, in Texas....every where and every one who needs it.

I know that by next week, I'll be back to my same old "I feel great" attitude...many of these people will not be back to this happy mentality for weeks, months, years.

So....here's to baby # 3...making me feel tired and crazy....and pregnant all at once!  Just getting me prepared for life with 3 boys...maybe?