Looking forward to looking back....hello 2012!

I can't believe that the 2011 Christmas season has come to a close, the ball has dropped and we are now living in 2012.  Aside from my grandfather passing away in April of 2011, I would have to say that 2011 ranks as one of my best years yet.  I did not get engaged (2004) or get married (2005).  I did not move - three times - or find out I was unexpectedly pregnant (2007).  I did not welcome my first child (2008) or add a second sweet baby boy (2010).  I didn't travel to Hawaii or Aruba or the Brittish Virgin Islands.  In fact, when I reflect on this year, aside from a few great trips with family we didn't do anything spectacular that will necessarily make the "record books" when I look back on my full life.  I am refreshed when I realize that although this may not have been our "biggest" year it was indeed one of our best.

I cut back a lot this year.....but, laugh out loud that I really think that is true!  I cut back on saying "Yes!" all the time.  I cut back on getting way too overly emotionally involved in my patients (though, I'm still far above average!).  We cut back on traveling to see out of town friends, family, and Carolina sporting events....and while we were well aware that we were missing out on these things, we enjoyed spending more time at home....just being here as one big, happy family!  We definitely cut back on spending and cut out many things that we would have spent money on in the past - and, I quickly learned that less is more!  Whatever it is that we used to buy, I don't miss it at all!  We enjoyed eating at home more and have started to enjoy cooking and using my crock pot (6 years after it was given to us!!).  We have spent so much more time at our church - serving, learning, growing, deepening our faith, sharing - we have both realized that what we have given of ourselves have multiplied greatly.  The more we get involved and the more we are willing to give, the more attached and more blessed we find we are.  By getting more involved at church and taking the time to be here (literally, home in Mt. Pleasant) we have been able to attend Sunday School on a regular basis, develop new friendships and continue to deepen those relationships we already have here in Mt. P.  Our jobs....well, they are jobs.  I do enjoy working with pediatric Cystic Fibrosis patients but it is a stressful, demanding job and there are many days I just want to be home with my kids....for now, no changes are coming.  Chad may not feel "called" to be in his current role at work but the fact that he is home and not traveling multiple nights each week is more important than either of us realize.  For the 1st time in our 6 1/2 years of marriage, we are able to enjoy a real schedule, enjoy meals together almost every night and teach our children what family time really means.  The past 3 years (while he traveled as a manager) were more difficult than either of us probably realized.  Now that we have had this year to live as a "normal" family, we realize what we had been missing and I don't think we'll ever go back!

As I think back, the highlights of our year are hard to list....sure, we had all the usuals but we enjoyed many memories from the year and look back with smiles for most of them - traveling to Chapel Hill for a long weekend with friends for the Carolina vs. Duke basketball game; having our annual birthday bash for Payton with most of Chad's family here for the weekend; Chad's sister came down for the weekend prior to Easter, the passing of my grandfather in April and while we miss him greatly, we are happy he went peacefully and gave us so many wonderful memories; Easter celebrations in North Carolina with Chad's family for Easter Sunday; Chad was elected and named as a Deacon at our chuch; celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary and my 30th birthday with a trip to the Inn at Palmetto Bluff in June (ahhhhhhh!!!!...what an awesome weekend away!); celebrating Owen's 1st birthday with a big party in NC; having friends in town for July 4th and having a huge cookout with too many kids while they were here; traveling to Boston and New York with the Webb's in July; 4 back to back weekends of out of town travel in August and September - North Carolina for Addie's birthday party, Chapel Hill for football, Bryson City and the Great Smoky Mountains railroad with my parents to celebrate my Dad's (belated) 60th birthday,  and our annual Ballenger/Webb family trip to Bald Head Island, NC; Payton started soccer in September and we had both sets of grandparents down to watch his athletic debut; a surprise birthday party for Chad's dad in late October and big Halloween celebrations for our little football players; Chad and I traveled back to back in November; we celebrated Thanksgiving in North Carolina; Payton started flag football in December and then it was time for Christmas - we had both parents down for our annual White/Webb Christmas celebration, the kids traveled to East Bend before us the week before Christmas and stayed a few days longer in Sherrills Ford after we celebrated Christmas in both places, and we enjoyed ringing in 2012 with Kade and Mary Margaret as well as many of our friends at the annual Cason New Years Eve party.

In addition to events, another important item in 2011 was the Missional Life class that Chad and I took at our church in the Spring.  The details are too great to repeat here...but, it was definitely life changing, and probably another reason that 2011 seems like the best year yet.  We were both challenged to live every day as if we were called to do so.....each interaction, our jobs, how we raise our children, etc should serve as an example to be more christlike.  We were challenged to focus on our true calling in life....and, I'm not sure either of us feel comfortable saying we are currently living out our calling 100% but, I think we can say that we now use our current positions to show christ to every person we meet.
We enjoyed the class so much that we are now eager to attend dinner on Wednesday nights and look forward to seeing what classes will be offered each spring and fall at our church.

It's promising to realize that the year that I allowed my faith to grow the most; they year I was challenged and agreed to accept that challenge, the year that I studied more and asked more questions seems to be the most rewarding.

Sure, 2011 was just like every other year - we were busy, we were stressed, I worked late and stayed up even later trying to get things done, our house was dirty, our clothes were wrinkled, we ate one too many meals from Chick-fil-a and Los Arcos and Wild Wings and Kickin' Chicken.  I didn't exercise nearly as much as I should have.  I gained weight.  There were days that I just didn't think I could do it....any of it....any more.  My kids made me crazy.  My husband made me yell.  I wanted to quit my job...more than once.  I burnt food (especially grilled cheese sandwiches!).  I forgot things.  I missed appointments.  I didn't keep in touch with friends as much as I would have liked.....some friends, I didn't talk to at all in the past year....good thing is, they are just as busy and me and I know we'll still be friends anyway!  I sat in too much traffic and complained about the traffic.  I complained too much....way too much.  I did not keep my blog up to date and I took less pictures than usual.  I took things for granted and sometimes forgot how blessed I truly am.......but, at the same time, I gained new friends, I learned to deal with being so stressed out and overworked, I'm organized in my own way and I've learned that a Friday night on the couch (with a bowl of ice cream) and a Tuesday night bible study really are the things that keep me together!  I love my kids more than life and I love my husband and have realized that we really are the perfect pair.....and, after a few life changing events for other people, I've learned to never ever take him for granted!!

As 2012 starts off, I don't know that I have any resolutions but I do have a few goals - first, I hope that each and every day I can thank my God for giving me each and every blessing that I have.  So many times, things change in a moments notice and while my life is moving along just perfectly, I want to be aware and be thankful.....I know one day, it won't be so perfect all the time.  I hope that I never take things for granted and I hope that I can be aware when someone around me is hurting - due to grief, depression, addiction, loss, financial concerns, marriage problems - and, if nothing else that I can be a support for them.  I hope I can brighten someone's day....everyday.  I hope I can financially help those less fortunate....and, if I can't, I hope I can volunteer my time.  I hope I can continue to grow as a parent and raise my kids the best I can to be loving, successful, compassionate, Christian adults.  I hope I can be a better wife and that our marriage can continue to grow.  I hope I can relax more and worry less.  I hope I can make it to work on time, leave before 6:00 and make it home in time to cook a healthy dinner.....without complaining about traffic.  I hope I can improve my diet and my health and I hope I can make time to exercise.  I hope I wake up and go to bed each day with a positive attitude and prayers of thanksgiving.

Here's to hoping that as 2012 comes to a close in 364 days, I'll be able to sit and write that all of these things came true and that 2012 was even better than 2011.

I hope each of you have a wonderful and blessed 2012!