Personally, I HATE the fact that in my 1st pregnancy I had to be induced, on my due date, and that my very long, intense labor turned into an urgent C-Section. Due to my previous c-section, and the choice to stay with my doctor for my 2nd baby, I have to have a second C-section. This means that my baby's birthday has been "scheduled" for months. It also means that in the back of your mind, you constantly think about that upcoming date. If I don't go into labor, my baby will be here by June 16th no matter what. Yes, I know, most everyone I encounter thinks I overreact about this. Isn't it nice to be able to know the date, to be able to plan, to be able to wake up, shower, put make-up on and still look nice for those post-birth pictures? I've heard from so many people that having it scheduled the second time around is "so nice" more times than I can count. I did have a pretty brutal experience the 1st time so one would think I would be grateful to get the "easy way out" this time. I keep trying to talk myself into it as well. I find myself rationalizing why it is okay to have a scheduled c-section...over and over and over...and listening to people telling me these wonderful reasons over and over and over. Yet, I still HATE it! I just want to go into labor and have my own story - my own "my water broke in the middle of Publix," or "I only had to push 6 times and he was out" story but I never will. Either way, I'm making the best of it! Maybe I'm just overly hormonal!
Since my body apparently doesn't like to go into labor naturally, I've had plenty of time to get ready. I am finished with work as of Friday. I have 2 days to enjoy being at home, finishing up those little tasks and enjoying a few quite moments before the big day. I have a pretty nice list for tomorrow but even if I don't do one single thing I know that my house is perfectly ready to welcome our new baby boy.
So, what exactly are my thoughts with about 56 hours remaining til my scheduled c-section? It has finally hit me that we are about to be a family of 4! It seems to be too late to turn back now so I think I'll just embrace it! We enjoyed our day today and I didn't do ANY THING to get ready for the baby. We went to church, we had lunch, I had a nice long nap right beside Payton, we went to the pool with the Ballenger's, nearly died of heat related causes while enjoying pizza poolside, headed home and dealt with a great Payton meltdown (which was about which shirt he wanted to sleep in), read him a book, gave him goodnight kisses, said prayers, and nearly broke into an all-out meltdown myself when I realized that tomorrow night will be the last night I get to enjoy our little bedtime routine as a family of 3....the last night that Payton will be my "baby boy." He is staying with grandparents on Tuesday night so that we can get a good night of sleep before heading into the hospital around 5:30 Wednesday morning. I held it together tonight...but when the same routine comes to a close tomorrow night I may very well loose it and sob (like funeral sobbing). Again, maybe I'm just a little hormonal.
My plans for tomorrow are to finish up on a few household chores - get laundry put up, order a few pictures from shutterfly, work on the baby book a little, finish packing my hospital bag and relax! I may keep Payton home from daycare on Tuesday to enjoy one last Mommy and Payton day together before he becomes a BIG BROTHER!
The fact that I have a planned c-section puts such a definitive time line on things - if it weren't for this upcoming date, which has been written in my calendar for months, I don't think I would feel this urge to do everything for "one last time" because I wouldn't know when the last time would actually occur. On the flip side, I guess it is nice to be able to make that "one last time" extra special! We'll enjoy our last 2 special days as a family of 3....while looking forward to the bundle of joy we will welcome on Wednesday to help begin our "new" routine as a family of 4! We are all so ready to meet this new baby and see what he looks like, what he weighs, how long he is etc. I'm guessing 8 lb 3 oz. Payton thinks he will have blue hair! I can't wait to find out!
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